Dear San Francisco,

So it’s been exactly a YEAR since I’ve moved back from Arizona. That means another one of “those,” posts. By “those,” I’m referring to an emotional blog. Here we go, in no specific order, of course. 

What I’ve Learned. Keys To Life, What’s On My Keychain. 

The tail end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 have taught me this. 

1. Be gracious in all of your relationships.

Whether it be with your  family, friends, your love relationship, your stalkers or just random people, make sure you are always as gracious as you can be in those relationships. NEVER, EVER talk down about anyone, even if they may be talking down about you. Also, NEVER talk down to them. Talk like there’s a microphone near by and the entire world would be able to hear what you’re saying. In other words, gossip gets you nowhere. That, and have discretion in what you’re saying and how you’re acting. Some people will take things the wrong way, if they’re said wrong. Oh, and one more thing: never raise your voice to someone unless he/she raises their voice first. It’s kind of like the, “don’t be the first to hit someone,” thing. 

 2a. Network

In other words, BE A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY. It’ll get you a long way. I PROMISE. Things that are going well for me today are because of the fact that I networked, made friends, and hoped for the success of those friends. You never know where things will take you. SERIOUSLY. 

2b. Never be jealous of someone’s success.

Let’s face it, most of time, you’re jealous because somebody has something, or lives the life you REALLY want. Be friends with that somebody. They can help you. Being jealous will get you nowhere. I learned this one at AAU. If you’re praised, you should always give back and help out. If you need help, reach for it! “Live together. Die alone.”- LOST 

3. Never ignore anyone.

For example, you see someone you know at a party but don’t particularly want to involve yourself with them but they try saying hello to you. Say hello back, it’s courteous. It doesn’t mean you have to lie to them and be their bff, but it’s courtesy to say hello. No one likes being ignored. He/she obviously wants your attention because they think highly of you. Now, back to the part where I said, “don’t lie,” follow that, strictly. If they are becoming annoying, tell them, but lay it down easy. 

4. Find out who you are and what you REALLY want in life.

This one took me awhile. ONLY because I spent alot of time transferring in and out of schools. I still struggle with this one on the daily. You see, it’s easy to do what will get you the most money or to do what you are most comfortable with, but you really really need to do what you’re passionate about. You need to stand up for WHAT YOU WANT, sometimes. This is probably one of the best things I’ve learned so far at Academy of Art University.  Do what you want. Fuck, everything else. (Excuse my language.) 

5. Know when you’ve been talking for too long.

I can’t even describe to you the countless times someone has told me the longest story ever and my eyes were glazed over. When telling a story, make sure this never happens to the person you’re talking to. Get them in the conversation. Ask them if they have any idea what you’re talking about.  If their eyes are glazed over and they’re giving you one word responses,this means they really don’t care about what ever it is you’re talking about.

6. Be aware of everything around you.

By this, i mean know WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! Not just with your friends, with the entire world! I swear it will be so much easier for you to network/meet people. You’ll always have something to talk about. Now, I don’t mean that you need to be an encyclopedia of knowledge, but know what’s going on. And if you have no idea what someone is talking about, SPEAK UP, ASK AND EDUCATE YOURSELF. 

7. Be a good friend. Listen, give advice, help along a situation, but NEVER FIRST HAND INTERVENE.

Another lesson I’ve learned the hard way. If you’re going to tell someone something personal, make sure they’re the right friend. Now, I’m all about the idea of giving people, “something to talk about,” or even, “brewing some gossip,” but it’s just awkward when you tell someone something and they end up telling the person you were talking about directly what you said. It’s just awkward to get that text/phone call out of nowhere from that person and hearing them try to set things straight when it always was ok between you two. Your friendship might be a little awkward after that, too.  If you have a problem with someone, be blunt. Talk to them yourself.

8. Say sorry when you know you should. AND mean it.

I’ve really learned in the past few months that it means more to say sorry when you can tell the person why you are saying sorry. If you just keep saying you’re sorry to ease the peace, that never really does it. The out of sight, out of mind thing doesn’t  work, in most cases. Most people will see right through it.

9. Don’t make someone a priority in your life if you’re only an option in theirs.

This is probably the hardest thing I’ve had to learn in the past year. The point I’m really trying to make here is that you should make time for people. I know, I know, i’ve been super wrapped up in ALOT of my activities and have had to skip out on alot of events but if you ask me to make the time, I WILL. If someone asks me something personally, I’ll be there. I’d expect any friend to do the same for me. The few good friends I have, mean the world to me. Now I know some of this sounds super cocky, but it’s true. People want to feel worth it.  I don’t have to be “first,” in anyones life, but I do love it when my friends make everything worthwhile. 

10. People change.

Yup! It’s sad, but they do. I mean, maybe someone changes for the better but people really do change. Change is inevitable, but think about it this way, change happens so things that are good will become something better and those bad things will become something good. That’s life for ya!

11. Go on spontaneous adventures. 

The bulk of my life changing experiences have happened this past year because I’ve decided to go somewhere out of spontaneity. Phoenix, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Jose, or even just the Mansion. Long car rides force you to examine your mind. Take someone with you too! 

12. Keep yourself humble.

I’m probably not the best person to say this since I know ALOT of people don’t see me as a humble person. But I’ve realized, you really need to know who you are and where you came from. Learn to give back to your community. Learn to keep yourself grounded. I’ve been working on this one for awhile now. One of my new years’ resolutions was to, “give back to my community and be more local.” Knowing about the area you live in, as well as the people who live there, keep me humble. By volunteering, working with local organizations, and even just shopping locally at farmers’ markets, you’ll be able to connect with an array of people. (It also improves your networking skills, Read 2a.)

See San Francisco, I never really liked you, but you’ve taught me alot of what I know. Here’s to another year of passion, love, life and learning! 

Sincerely yours, 

Vinette 

Postnotes:

-“Dear Arizona,” was my “Keychain,” blog from last year. http://vinettegoestoaz.blogspot.com/2009/10/dear-arizona.html

-I started writing this blog on November 5, 2009, and planned to have it online by my 21st birthday, but that all kind of failed. It actually means so much more to me that i’m posting it right now though. Seeing that it’s been a year since I’ve been back.